dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
