So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
