dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
