they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
