So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
