Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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