im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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