I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
