just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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