She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There r osticjed everywhere
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
