the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
