i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
