he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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