The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
