I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
That accounts for only three of the penises
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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