if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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