Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
