hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
