I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
