You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
