sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
