is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
