letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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