This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My bed smells like the plague
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
