is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
