She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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