i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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