I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Randomize
