Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
