i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
