if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
