I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
