Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
