Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
