this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
