did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
