one two three fourrrrnication!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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