Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Randomize
