He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Randomize
