it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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