how hairy? two words: wookie tits
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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