Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
