Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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