I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
