There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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