I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
