I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
