He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
