I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
