Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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