she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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