it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
